My Big Break

Casting call for the UK production of the Tdot failed Lord of the Rings show. I think this is the part I was born to play:
-Male or Female: Check
-between 16 and 35: Check
-"less than five-seven in bare feet": Check (I think?)
-"hairy toes and feet are a distinct advantage": DOUBLE CHECK!

Seeya on Drury Lane, haters.